A Nice Guy

So I chance upon a very good read, via Facebook. It's really rare for me to do so, since I usually just bypass them all. Most of them are garbage anyway. It just brings you to read a whole chunk of text either to confuse you further, or to troll you. So It's really kinda rare to get a good read. 

It's EVEN rarer for me to click on it to read it. 

But somehow or another, I clicked on this read. And boy am I glad I did.

So its' an article about a guys being nice. The truth is, most guys who are nice here in Singapore, are either being friend-zoned (gosh I hate this word), or they are the kinda guys that expect something in return.

Like if I were to help you/give you something, people would expect me to get something in return, right?

But what If i tell you that sometimes, helping people or giving people something doesn't always means that I need to get something back. I know that's how most people think.

What if getting you to be happy is actually the best thing I can get, in return already?

Well, so this article is really interesting. I'm just gonna list down some of the stuff that really caught my eye.

"This proverbial Nice Guy the Internet speaks of — this often-alluded-to fallen hero men hide behind when cursing women for not dating them — needs to addressed. Because we’re throwing a big word around and many of us don’t know what it means.

What actually makes a nice guy… nice?

Many men have a very distorted view of The Nice Guy. They think he’s a guy who uses nice actions to sleep with women rather than playing the alpha male card. They think it’s the anti-alpha, the fallen hero.What these guys don’t realize is there’s one crucial detail they got wrong with their definition. Nice guys aren’t nice because they want to sleep with you, they’re nice because they aren’t just thinking about sleeping with you.

A guy isn’t nice because he says he’s nice. He doesn’t say he “tried to be nice and it didn’t work.” Because being nice isn’t a motive, it’s an attribute. Being nice isn’t a play or a disguise, it’s a genuine way of being that’s not contingent on its effect on women. Unfortunately, many men don’t understand this.

They think every personality, every stereotype, every way of being is about getting women. They think if women don’t sleep with them, it’s because their ploy didn’t work; they think that because they tried The Nice Guy on for size and it didn’t pan out, women don’t actually want the nice guy.

The real Nice Guys aren’t the ones who need to say it, they show it. The real guys don’t stop being nice because they aren’t getting ass. The Nice Guy is nice whether he’s sleeping with you or not.

Nice guys are nice because that’s just how they are. They display certain characteristics and qualities that differentiate them from run-of-the-mill assh*les.

So before you start putting down women by saying how nice you are, why don’t you take a look at the qualities nice guys actually possess and see if you fit any of them:

He wants to be your friend… and doesn’t complain about being friend-zoned.

The Nice Guy doesn’t whine and moan because you’re not treating him like the attractive alpha male he wants you to see him as.

He doesn’t throw a fit because you like him as a friend because he didn’t have any more motive. If hooking up happens, it happens. But he didn’t arrange for it that way.

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He respects you… not because of what you can do for him.

A genuine, authentic nice guy respects a woman because she is his equal. He doesn’t respect her because she has tits or can provide certain services for him.

He respects them as people and not their capability to fulfill his desires.

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He doesn’t give you everything… but also doesn’t expect anything.

Nice guys aren’t constantly trying to buy your affection because any woman knows that no man offers you gifts without expecting something in return.

Nothing comes free in this world, no matter how nice he’s pretending to be. An honest nice guy doesn’t buy you things because he isn’t expecting anything back."

So there are a couple more points but, yeah. you get the drift. If you're interested to read more, here's the link: 

http://elitedaily.com/dating/the-qualities-of-a-nice-guy/837831/

Enjoy.

Soar like Eagles

For even young people tire and drop out,
young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
They spread their wings and soar like eagles.
They run and don't get tired,
they walk and don't lag behind.

Isaiah 40:31 MSG 

Love it. That is tonight's meditating verse. :) amen.

Come as you are

Come out of sadness, from wherever you've been

Come brokenhearted, let rescue begin

Earth has no sorrow heaven can't heal

Come as you are

These lyrics stood out the most whenever I take a moment to listen to this beautiful song, written by David Crowder and his amazing band. Had the most amazing privilege to take a picture with him the last time he came to my church, together with Chris Tomlin and Pastor Louie Giglio. Super humble fella, super cool too. Haha. 

So today marked a brand new week! We are actually in NOVEMBER already! WOW. Didn't we just start January like... awhile ago? Hah time really flies. Seriously. I can hardly remember a year where I feel like time flew this fast past me. (I said this every year haha) Oh wells.

Today I learn a very important lesson, all over again. I learn that life is really all about taking the moment, and cherishing the NOW that we are in. Just like how God tell us in the bible, to not worry about the future and stuff. Yeah. It dawned upon me today. 

There I was in the reception today, because the receptionist is on leave. There's this new female employee, that the bank hired to cover the recept role and stuff like that. But since she's really new (1 week long), so yeah. Gotta take some time I guess.

Suddenly it hit me that I have only 2 months life in the contract! Like... What??? Haha. So fast. I feel like I've only begin to really work WORK, if you know what I mean. No wonder pastor always say to give a job a year or two, because you really only start to work WORK after a year! It's so true la oh my. :\

So at work today, as usual, alot of things had to be done. The colleague that I'm working with, well... Idk. Sometimes he just has the weirdest and strangest mindset. It's like he has his own "mood". On good days, he can be nice. On not so good days, he's just pure nasty and sarcastic? Hah. I don't know man. Sometimes I really wonder what's on his mind. Sometimes.

So the new female employee too. The vibe that I'm getting from her is that, sometimes I feel like I'm trying too hard? Trying too hard to interact and to assist her at work. But I am just like that; I like to help fellow colleagues and if I can, I would. Not that she's not appreciative and all, but you know, given in an environment where people talk shit and stuff like that all the time, one gotta be wary? 

Just today a colleague tried to be funny and say something really sarcastic and all. I don't know what's the consequences gonna be, but it sure make things awkward between the new female employee and me. So I tried to joke it off and all, but I feel that the damage has already been done kinda thing, you know?

Then GOD spoke me right there and then. "You don't need to be worried of anything, even in situations like this. You've got Me. My Favour. My Grace. My Influence. Fear not, son."

Haha to be honest, it didn't really make me feel better. But God works in way we can never comprehend I suppose. It did gradually made me feel better, but you know, the devil always tries too hard to be funny. But at that end of the day, I know God > devil. That's all that matters man.

So here I am now, still feeling a lil sian and affected by all the "issues" at work today. But what can I do now, but trust God? What can I do now but rely upon His Grace and Favour?

"Exactly son, that's exactly what I want you to do".

Thank you DaddyGod. Thank you.

Ramdoms

The skies has been amazing these days. It's as though God is welcoming back all those we went for Legacy camp 2014. 

God: Welcome back, my beloveds. Here's a gift from me to you. Enjoy. :)

Hah. Oh well. There are so many shots of these fluffy like clouds, that comes along with that amazing sunset and sunrays. It's all over Instagram lor.

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On the side note, it does feel good to be out in causal wear! Hah. I know. It's just casual wear. But imagine being in office/formal wear for at least 6 days a week. It's been what since like forever since I last wore berms out man! Hah. Okay. I just feel happy that I get to dress down today. Heh.

I need more tailored shirts and i NEED a dark blue blazer. 

Thank you Jesus. Amen.

An Open Door

It's times like this that makes me wonder sometimes whether all is worth waiting for. Sometimes it's really not about how much effort you place it in, but, yeah. Just that one drop of God's kinda favour. Just one drop, and it'll set you going on high.

I might not have been dealing with this the best possible way, in all honesty. But at least I GET to do this, the right way it's suppose to be now.

I am really excited to see the future.

Can we get there already?